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上海世博 衝浪 J女郎 劉謙 桂綸鎂 

DEAD ZONE, THE FINAL STAGE OF INDEPENDENCE 死亡區 獨立最後的階段DEAD ZONE, THE FINAL STAGE OF INDEPENDENCE 死亡區 獨立最後的階段 In our culture we have been taught that the final stage of growth is independence, but in truth, independence is just a stage along the way to true partnership, interdependence. To move into interdependence we have to be willing to adopt a completely different set of guidelines regarding the rules for the game of life; what was very successful in independence proves to hold us back in interdependence. The final stage of independence, this great stage we have all been taught to aspire to, is a stage of deadness that I affectionately call the Dead Zone. 在我們的文化不曾教導我們成長最後的階段是獨立期, 不過真相是: 獨立期只是順著抵達真正夥伴關係, 交互依賴路上的一個階段. 進入交互依賴期我們必須對生命遊戲的規則採取完全不同的準則; 提供獨立期很成功的人事物在交互依賴反而會障礙我們.　這是我們完全渴望被教導的偉大舞台, 獨立最後的階段, 這是一個死亡的階段我稱它為死亡區.In the Dead Zone we do things because we are supposed to do them, not because we choose to do them. As independents we are the great rebels of life and won't allow ourself to be captured. However, the extent to which we are the rebel is the extent to which we are hiding that marshmallow of a sacrificer inside us. In the Dead Zone we experience exhaustion and a deep weariness because, as with all stages of independence, we are unable to receive and, therefore, we are unable to refresh and renew ourself. Independence means our feminine side has not yet fully healed and it is with this that we receive. It is this side of us that nurtures and gives us the fuel to carry on. As our feminine side is valued, it comes into balance with our masculine side and partnership begins. 在死亡區我們因為應該做事而做事情, 不是因為我們選擇做它. 身為獨立人我們很叛逆生命我們不允許被生命補捉. 不論如何, 叛逆的程度是內心隱藏軟趴趴的犧牲者. 在死亡區我們體驗精疲力竭很深的虛弱, 因為, 整個獨立期, 我們無能接受, 因此我們不能充電更新自己. 獨立表示我們陰柔面尚未完全治癒, 我們就是以陰柔這一面接受. 就是這一面滋潤給我們燃料繼續前進. 當陰柔面被看重, 它和陽剛面平衡, 然後夥伴關係開始. The Dead Zone feels like stuckness - being caught up in a pattern. We feel like a failure, no matter how much of a success we are to other people. We also feel tempted to die because we are soooo tired. It is here in the Dead Zone that the essential character of independence is hidden. Competition, here at the final stage of independence, is where we become such a great competitor that we don't even bother to compete; when we are the best, why bother? Competition still drives us forward by making us work, rather than receive our reward. 死亡區感覺像卡死一樣被模式逮住. 我們覺得很失敗, 不管對其他人而言我們有多麼成功. 我們也覺得想死因為太太太太累了. 就是在死亡區藏著有獨立個性的本質. 競爭, 就在獨立最後的階段, 就在這裡我們變成這麼大的競爭者我們根本就不爭; 當我們是最棒的一位, 何必煩惱? 藉著做苦工競爭依然驅駛我們前進, 而不接受我們的獎賞.Today, make the choice to let go of independence, and state, "I am finally willing to go to this higher stage, even if I don't know what it is." You can ask the Universe or God, "Please teach me." Your willingness will allow you to be taught by providing you with relationships where you can begin to learn what true interdependence is. 今天, 選擇放下獨立, 然後說, ‘我終於願意進入這一個更高的階段, 即使我不知道它是什麼.’ 你可以呼求宇宙或神, ‘請教我.’你的決心允許關係這個領域提供你, 教導你, 可以學會真正的交互依賴. 前幾年,　每天就是忙著看店,　上課, 當義工,　讀課文,　每一天就是衝衝衝.　不管做什麼事都很趕,　時間永遠都不夠.　經由兩位不同教練傑夫與蘇珊諮商,　整合獨立與依賴面. 外加一場接一場的工作坊,　我記得有一次,　去年在關西上恰克四天工作坊,　我的頭頂就好像有人鎚我,　上課內容就是獨立.　獨立為三大角色之一.　為心碎痛苦之處, 嫉妒, 犧牲或失去的補償獨立的程度也是害怕親密的程度. 處在脆弱無法接受的位置上, 因為它拉出古老痛苦的感覺, 害怕感覺; 接受或承諾; 為古老的感情奴役補償. 透過這角色我們企圖疏離痛苦的感覺, 獨立的程度也是心碎和犧牲的程度, 那些是我們尚未治療. 對他人缺乏連繫和承諾. 整合衝突分裂的心靈內在的否認和欺騙.　什麼叫欺騙,　根本沒有欺騙, 只有自我欺騙.　不再做苦工證明自己的價值,　不逼迫自己也不逼迫別人.　不給自己壓力也就不會給別人壓力,　日子變得簡單許多,　輕鬆之餘越來越了解我要什麼,　我不要什麼.　也慢慢療癒我的犧牲爛好人,　我能夠簡單清楚明白拒絕一個對我不利的提議.　今年初也也因生意清淡,　市場不再,　我的能量也不在,　決定放棄開店.　只剩下一件事要做,　現在每天只讀書帶課程,　諮商,　開工作坊.　隨時注意自己有沒有壞念頭,　有什麼害怕,　批判.　我要什麼?　老天要給我什麼?　是不是朝著一前進?　這裡只有一個我們在此.　當然偶而還是性急,　我很快速覺察,　重新改正.　剛放手二一年老店,　還真的很不習慣,　難得清閒,　也很享受.　頭腦的衝突越來越平靜,　覺察到別人的一言一行.　現在我需要更多時間消化這些感覺.　　 LoveLisa 　 

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